Never Walk Alone

The further I progress in my pregnancy, the more I am visited by my great prenatal friend, insomnia.  I have found myself waking up many times each night over the last few weeks.  My first thought is immediately about our children in the DR.  I have been dreaming about them almost every night since I first saw their pictures months ago.  Recently, I’ve wondered if they ever wake up in the middle of the night.  I wonder if they are laying awake at that very moment, possibly scared or wondering about their futures.  I wonder if they are feeling unloved or inadequate or unwanted.  While I am grateful to know that they are receiving excellent care from very loving individuals, my logical self knows that the ratios do not make it possible for them to have all of the comforting and loving interactions and personal attention that they will have when they arrive home.  When I was talking to my mom about this a few weeks ago, she reminded me that there is One much greater than me who has loved them and carried them from their very first breath.  He has set their path from the beginning and knows each hair on their heads.  Mom told me, “they’ve never been without a Father.”  I have found this to be so comforting as I wait for this year to pass before we can all be home together.  While I cannot directly meet their physical or emotional needs in these moments, God has never left their sides and has brought wonderfully dedicated individuals along to care for them in the meantime.  We sang this song on our first Sunday in Lafayette and while we were singing, tears streamed down my face.  This song so perfectly captures our journey and the truth that we want to be so evident to others as we take each step: “Carried by Your constant grace.  Held within Your perfect peace.  Never once did we ever walk alone.  Never once did you leave us on our own.  You are faithful.  Every step, we are breathing in Your grace.  Evermore, we will be breathing out Your praise. You are faithful.”